Representing yourself in family court: What you need to know

1. Can you represent yourself in family court?

Yes. In England and Wales, you can represent yourself in family court without appointing a solicitor or barrister. The legal term is litigant in person. People choose to do this for different reasons. Some can’t afford ongoing legal representation. Others want to manage their own case or feel comfortable speaking for themselves.

In my case, I’d initially had legal representation but eventually decided to represent myself. And believe me, that wasn’t a decision I took lightly. I’d gone six months without seeing my son, my head was all over the place and I felt I needed to understand what was actually happening rather than constantly reacting to it.

So I started researching. The Children Act 1989, court procedures, applications, statements, evidence. You name it. Not because I suddenly fancied becoming a solicitor! I just needed to understand the process.

And that’s probably the first thing I’d say to anyone considering representing themselves. Don’t confuse being determined with being prepared. You might feel incredibly strongly about your situation, and understandably so. But family court proceedings involve legal rules, deadlines and decisions that can have a lasting impact on your child.

Getting proper advice before deciding how to proceed is always worth considering.

2. Understand what you’re actually asking the court to decide

Before filling in forms or preparing statements, get clear about what you’re trying to achieve. Are you asking the court to decide when your child spends time with you? Where they’ll live? How holidays or other arrangements should work? Or is there already a court order that isn’t being followed?

These are different situations and may require different applications. For disputes about where a child lives or spends time, the relevant order is usually called a Child Arrangements Order. The court’s job isn’t to decide which parent has won an argument. Its primary consideration is your child’s welfare.

That means the arrangements you want aren’t automatically the arrangements the court will make. I eventually secured equal shared care, but that doesn’t mean 50/50 is right for every family. Every child’s circumstances are different.

And that’s something I had to keep reminding myself throughout my own case. What is genuinely best for my son? Not what feels fairest to me as an adult. Not what proves a point. What actually works for him?

3. Applying to family court: Understanding Form C100

If you can’t agree on child arrangements, you may need to apply to the family court. For many new applications involving child arrangements, the starting point is Form C100. This is used to apply for certain orders under the Children Act 1989, including:

• Child Arrangements Orders.
• Specific Issue Orders, for disagreements about particular decisions affecting a child.
• Prohibited Steps Orders, which can prevent certain actions being taken without the court’s permission.

You can usually apply online or use the official paper form. Before making many applications, you’ll normally need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), unless a valid exemption applies. A MIAM helps establish whether mediation or another way of resolving the disagreement might be suitable.

It doesn’t mean you’re being forced to agree to something. There are exemptions, including certain circumstances involving domestic abuse, child protection concerns or urgency. If you’re unsure whether an exemption applies, get professional advice rather than guessing.

A few things I’d suggest before completing a C100

• Read the official guidance carefully and make sure you understand which order you’re applying for.
• Be clear about the arrangements you’re asking the court to consider and why you believe they’re in your child’s best interests.
• Keep your explanation factual, relevant and focused on the child.
• And don’t use the application as an opportunity to unload every frustration you’ve ever had with your ex.

I know how tempting that can be. But the purpose of the application is to help the court understand the issues it needs to decide. Important: If there’s already an order in place, don’t automatically assume a new C100 application is the right route. Enforcement, variation and ongoing proceedings can involve different procedures.

Official guidance: GOV.UK, Form C100 and applying for a Child Arrangements Order.

4. Evidence, statements and getting organised

This is probably where I learned the most. When you’re going through a difficult separation, it’s incredibly easy to collect hundreds of screenshots, messages and documents because everything feels important. But having lots of information isn’t the same as having useful evidence.

What helped me was getting organised and trying to separate what was relevant from what was simply upsetting. I started thinking more carefully about dates, events, communications and the arrangements I was asking the court to consider. If you’re representing yourself, a few practical habits can help:

• Keep important documents, court orders and correspondence organised.
• Maintain an accurate timeline of relevant events.
• Record dates and facts rather than relying on memory.
• Read every court direction carefully and note the deadlines.
• Keep copies of documents you submit.
• Make sure anything you provide is relevant, accurate and permitted by the court.

If the court asks you to prepare a statement, follow its directions about what that statement should contain, how it should be formatted and when it must be submitted. Don’t assume you can send whatever you like, whenever you like. There are rules about evidence, disclosure and court documents, and those rules matter.

What about a court bundle?

A court bundle is an organised collection of documents used for a hearing. You may be required to help prepare one, particularly if you’re representing yourself. The rules can be quite specific, so don’t just create an enormous PDF and assume you’ve done the job.

In March 2026, updated family court bundle requirements came into force in England and Wales, alongside official guidance specifically for litigants in person. If you’re preparing for a hearing, check the current rules and any directions made in your particular case. My advice? Get organised early. Don’t leave everything until the night before court.

You’ll have enough on your mind without discovering you’ve missed an important deadline.

5. What actually happens at a family court hearing?

This was one of the things I found intimidating initially. If you’ve never been involved in court proceedings, the whole environment can feel completely unfamiliar. You might be wondering who speaks first, what you’re supposed to say, whether you’ll be questioned or how you’re expected to address the judge.

The answer depends on the type of hearing and the stage of your case. In child arrangements proceedings, there may be an initial hearing to identify the issues, consider safeguarding information and decide what needs to happen next. Some cases require further evidence, reports or additional hearings.

Others can be resolved through agreement. If you’re representing yourself, you should receive information about your hearing and any directions you need to follow. Read them properly.

Make sure you understand what the court expects you to prepare and whether the hearing is in person, by telephone or by video. If you don’t understand a direction or need an adjustment to participate effectively, contact the court or seek appropriate advice.

One thing I learned about speaking in court

You don’t need to sound like a barrister. You don’t need complicated legal language or an impressive speech. What matters is being prepared, listening carefully, answering questions honestly and explaining your position clearly.

And please, try not to turn the hearing into another argument with your ex. That’s easier said than done, I know. But I found that focusing on the facts and my son’s needs helped me enormously.

6. What if there are allegations or safeguarding concerns?

This is where I’d strongly encourage getting specialist legal advice. Family court proceedings can involve allegations of domestic abuse, coercive control, neglect or other risks to children. Those concerns must be taken seriously.

The court may need to assess disputed allegations and decide what protective arrangements are necessary. There may also be additional forms, evidence requirements or hearings. If you’re facing allegations you dispute, don’t assume that simply denying them will resolve the issue.

Equally, if you’re raising concerns about your child’s safety, it’s important to understand how those concerns should properly be brought before the court. Safeguarding comes first. Always. Representing yourself in a complicated case involving abuse allegations or significant welfare concerns can be particularly challenging.

Get qualified legal advice wherever possible. And if you or your child are in immediate danger, contact the emergency services.

7. Can you get help without paying for a solicitor throughout?

Yes, and this is something I really want people to understand. Representing yourself doesn’t mean refusing all professional help. You might decide to handle some parts of your case yourself while paying for advice on a particular application, statement or legal issue.

Depending on your circumstances, you may qualify for legal aid or help with court fees. There are also organisations that provide free information and practical support. For example:

• Support Through Court helps people understand court procedures and navigate the practical side of proceedings.
• Advicenow provides accessible guidance about family court applications and representing yourself.
• Citizens Advice can help you understand where to find legal and practical support.

You may also be allowed to have a McKenzie friend with you at a hearing, subject to the court’s decision. A McKenzie friend can usually provide quiet assistance, such as taking notes or helping you organise documents, but they don’t automatically have the right to speak for you or act as your lawyer. Please check the rules before relying on someone to assist you.

And be cautious about anyone promising guaranteed results or claiming they can beat the family court system. There are no guarantees.

8. The biggest mistakes I learned from

I’m not going to pretend I handled every stage of my own experience brilliantly. Far from it. Looking back, there are things I’d approach differently.

• Getting too emotional. When you’ve been separated from your child, it’s incredibly difficult not to react to everything. But I learned that anger rarely helped me make better decisions.
• Trying to understand everything at once. Family law can be complicated. I found it more useful to understand the immediate issue, the next stage and what I actually needed to prepare.
• Getting caught up in adult disagreements. It’s very easy to spend all your energy explaining why the other person is wrong. I had to keep bringing myself back to what mattered for my son.
• Not appreciating how important support was. I had some brilliant people around me, particularly my dad, who helped me more than he’ll probably ever realise.

And perhaps the biggest lesson? Knowledge helped me manage my emotions. The more I understood about the process, the less I felt I needed to react to every setback.

That didn’t make the situation easy. Believe me. But it helped me approach things more calmly and make better-informed decisions.

9. Before you represent yourself: A practical checklist

If you’re considering going to family court without a solicitor, I’d start with these questions.

• Do I understand the issue? Be clear about what you’re asking the court to decide and whether an existing order already applies.
• Have I explored appropriate alternatives? Consider whether agreement or mediation is suitable and safe.
• Do I know which application I need? Check the official guidance on Form C100 and any other relevant forms.
• Have I considered legal advice? Particularly if the case involves safeguarding, allegations, complex evidence or urgent decisions.
• Am I organised? Keep relevant documents, communications, deadlines and court directions together.
• Do I understand what happens next? Read the information provided by the court and seek help where anything is unclear.
• Am I looking after myself? Court proceedings can be exhausting. Don’t underestimate the importance of having people around you.

And finally, ask yourself the most important question. Am I keeping my child’s welfare at the centre of this? Because that’s what the court will be concerned with too.

A final word from me

I represented myself in family court because I felt I needed to take responsibility for understanding my situation. I spent countless hours researching, preparing and trying to get my head around a system I’d never imagined I’d need to navigate. Eventually, I secured a 50/50 shared care Consent Order.

And I can’t begin to tell you what that meant. Not because I’d beaten anyone. But because I could finally get on with being Dad.

I don’t know whether representing yourself is right for you. That’s something you need to consider carefully, ideally with proper legal advice. But I do know how frightening the whole process can feel when you don’t understand it. And I know how much difference having good information and the right support can make.

That’s why I started K.I.D.S. To help parents feel a little less lost, understand their options and make better-informed decisions for their children. Mums and dads.

Not one against the other. KIDS. Not sides. And whatever route you take, please remember something.

You don’t have to win every argument to be a good parent. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is put your pride to one side, prepare properly and focus on what’s best for your child. Children first. Strategy over emotion.

Further information and support

• GOV.UK: Represent yourself in court
• HM Courts & Tribunals Service: Form C100 and guidance
• Judiciary: Preparing court bundles — a guide for litigants in person
• GOV.UK: A guide for separated parents — children and the family courts
• Support Through Court: Practical support and information
• Advicenow: Applying for a child arrangements order without a lawyer (England only)
• Citizens Advice: Making child arrangements (England; Wales guidance available on the site)

Important information

This guide provides general information about representing yourself in family court in England and Wales, alongside David’s personal experience.

It is not legal advice and does not replace advice from a qualified family law professional.

Court procedures, application requirements and individual circumstances vary. Safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse allegations, existing orders and complex proceedings can significantly affect the appropriate course of action.

K.I.D.S. does not provide legal representation or regulated legal advice.

David Walsh is a parent sharing his personal experience, research and opinions. He is not a qualified solicitor, legal adviser or mental health professional. K.I.D.S. does not provide counselling or clinical treatment. This is general information, not advice tailored to individual circumstances. Seek appropriately qualified professional advice about legal matters, safeguarding or mental health as needed. Information can change, so check current official guidance.

Read our guide to child contact after separation, our guide to coping when you can’t see your children or David’s story about his own experience. You can also browse the Resources hub or get in touch.